Game of Thrones is officially off the rails. While there's still some existing material in the story of the Iron Islands from the books, most of the major plot lines (and let's be honest, the Iron Islands don't yet seem too major) were caught up at the end of last season. So the show is now in the position of revealing new stories - we don't know how much of this is from George R R Martin's talks with the show runners and how much of it is just the writers coming up with new stuff, but no one (other than the show's cast and crew, who obviously shot all this stuff already) now has an advanced knowledge of the plot.
Season 6, Episode 1 starts off the season a bit slow - basically, we get a bunch of immediate aftermath stuff.
The Wall:
We begin with the bled-out body of Jon Snow. Yes, he's dead, of course, but notably they haven't yet burned his body. Davos finds the body and takes it with Dolorous Edd and some of the other loyal Nights Watch brothers. Thorne addresses the men, confessing to his treason, but arguing that he's saved the Watch. He has the support of the other officers (no head Maester, given that Aemon is dead and Sam is only just on his way to Old Town.) There's certainly plenty of loyalists to Jon Snow, but there's no one except for the small group barricaded inside a small room with Jon's body (and Snow) being led by default by Davos around which a counter-mutiny could spring forth. Edd's out, and honestly I forgot what his plan was, but it might involve talking to Melisandre.
Speaking of old Mel, and I mean Old. She's clearly pretty down after both Stannis' death and Jon's. We also find out that that choker she wears makes her look about fifty years younger than she actually is. So, naked old lady (though I think that was Carice Van Houten in make-up.) My words when this was revealed: "Of course she's ancient!"
King's Landing:
Cerise is all excited for Myrcella to come back when a Dornish ship sails into port. But when she sees Jaime and a shroud-covered body on the boat coming in, she realizes what has happened. The breaking of Cersei continues.
Meanwhile, Margaery is still in jail. Not too much development there.
Dorne:
Ok, here some stuff happens. First off, Doran gets a raven telling him about Myrcella's death (damn combination of auto-correct and Martin's just-slightly-different naming conventions,) and just as he does, Elaria Sand stabs him in the heart while one of the Sand Snakes back-stabs Areo Hotah (man, I doubt those who haven't read the books would even know that he has a name.) On the ship back from King's Landing, Trystane is mourning his would-be wife. But not for long, because the two accompanying Sand Snakes come to kill him, and he gets a spear through the back of the head and out the front in this week's most gruesome death.
So the coup in Dorne is in full swing. Too bad Doran didn't get to really do anything.
Winterfell (and Environs:)
Sansa and Theon (I think we can start calling him that again) run from Ramsay's dogs while Ramsay has a moment where he seems almost human, mourning for... that equally sadistic chick who isn't in the books and whose name I can't... Miranda! Mourning Miranda. But then he tells the Maester to feed her to the dogs instead of giving her a proper burial, so, you know, Ramsay's gotta Ramsay.
Anyway, Theon and Sansa flee the Bolton hounds and hound masters, but they're caught despite a desperate icy-river ford. It looks like things are screwed when... Brienne and Podrick come to the rescue! And yes, I did make a "Podrick Brings the Payne" joke when he stuck a sword through one of the Bolton men. Theon even gets a kill, saving Podrick when he's knocked down. Sansa (wisely) accepts Brienne's service this time, and Theon seems to have earned her trust a bit.
Mereen (and Environs:)
The leftover Daenerys party talk over strategy. Mereen's in trouble, between the Sons of the Harpy and slaves who feel she abandoned them (which... yeah kind of.) And there are Red Priests showing up to preach to those people (basically saying Dany was the catalyst, now they have to take the power of flame into their own hands.) Oh, and someone has burned all the ships in the harbor, so it might take a little longer to launch the invasion of Westeros.
Tyrion is left behind with Grey Worm, Missandei, and Varys (the others don't know he's there, I think,) while Daario and Jorah (whose Greyscale infection is spreading along his arm) try to track her, finding the ring she dropped at the end of last season.
Dany is captured by the Dothraki and brought before Khal Maro. Once she reveals she's Drogo's widow, they stop all their talk of murder and rape, but while that's, you know, a step in the right direction, they do insist she go back to Vaes Dothrak to join the Dosh Khaleen - the widows of Khals who serves as a kind of ruling council for the Dothraki but also aren't allowed to leave.
Braavos:
Arya is on the streets as a blind beggar, but it seems this is only part of her training. The Waif (no longer wearing the Jaqen H'gar face - and just to be clear, the Kindly Man at the House of Black and White probably never was Jaqen H'gar. In fact, Jaqen H'gar was probably never Jaqen H'gar. But I wonder if this means that Tom Wiaschiha isn't going to be on the show...? Or maybe he'll be in Sam's story down in Old Town (oh yeah, there's a plot that the show hasn't done. Though it's barely done anything with that in the books either.) Anyway, Arya's still going to get some training, but it'll be extra hard because she's blind.
So as a premiere, this honestly isn't the most mind-blowing. The Melisandre reveal was pretty good, one of those twists you feel stupid for not figuring out beforehand (though what impact it will have is probably minimal.) They're really pushing for Dorne to be a thing, which... well, if you have to, I guess. With the Tyrells unlikely the help thanks to the whole church imprisonment thing, war with the Boltons now on the table (given the brief marriage to the smuggled-out-of-King's-Landing Sansa,) a coming war with Dorne could be really devastating for the Lannisters, and I don't think Cersei is going to even be in power by the time Daenerys gets to Westerns.
I'm hoping next week we get some of the trippy tree-druid stuff with Brann, as we've been waiting since season 4 for that stuff. I think Melisandre reviving Jon is still very much on the table.
It's great that Sansa/Theon and Brienne/Podrick have linked up, but I really don't know where they'll go. Castle Black is not safe territory for them, though they have no reason to know that yet. However, the next-on segment suggests the Boltons might march against Castle Black, which... could actually have some positive effects, as we'd have Bolton vs Thorne, possibly giving Davos (and even Jon, if he does get revived) time to escape.
Oh, was Edd going to get the Wildlings? That might have been it.
Anyway, Clusterfuck is Coming up in the North. Looking forward to next week!
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